“Hey is there a problem?” my voice echoed along the staircase. I had noticed this guy staring at me before. Well it wasn’t that he ogled at me to make me feel insecure, nor were they the only pair of eyes that scanned me . Studying in an all boys school with only the highschool doped with girls , I had already gathered much attention.
He was nominated as the head councellor. It was a school event that was much hyped. So hyped that it required rehersals. It isn’t new that women have been holding pom pom and given a lolipop to amuse themselves and people have very generously called this equality. I ain’t talking about the 90’s . Among all this ,three of the girls were given the ‘opportunity’ to hold the tray . I being one of them.It was just like a some taylor swift song. Among all mayhem, Noise, fun entered the troop of the councellor. Led by our school flag. The rehersal was quite a show in itself . Students and teachers lined up neatly . The fathers’ on stage. We three girls stood behind the drapes. The band played well. The synchoronous and pomp sound itself rose my anxiety. I kept peeping out. And there in the second line second from the last HE entered. It wasn’t attraction. And No It wasnt love at first sight. It was just that I wanted to draw this guy’s attention. Not be his girl, but wanted him to notice me. Well as it happened I could also see him looking at me. And I thought , baby got the bait.
After that day all I could see was that guy not missing a chance to loose a tiniest vision of me . I liked that chase.I liked this guy.
His hair stood straight , yes nulling the law of gravity.Deep eyes. Tall , taller than me !!! He had an atheletic body.Wearing the school dress with that elan , cool ! Well fitted hay brown pants and cream shirt with neat oxford shoes. What enticed me more was his quiet alluring personality. He was some kind of a hot nerd that girls dream about. But the question was how on earth was this gold not dug yet. How come he is single . ( yes i got all the informations).
“Hey is there a problem?” my voice echoed along the staircase.“No , nothing” he said and rushed upstairs to the library.I smiled .We talked! It was just a twenty second thing . But it happened.
I have never had a good thing with girls. I guess I am not meant to have girlfriends. Big deal! Huh! I had my own group in middle school with two girlz and 4 boys and I had the best time . I never pondered over this. But when you are stuck amid a testesteron secreting factory of 700 boys , yes u need a girlfriend more than anything. So there I had my only friend , the only girl I could feel talking to, AP. Sweet , calm innocent and yeah crazy she was all a typical bengali girl could be. Before we move further , HE has a name and that name is $&. SO $& had a quiet, shy nature that I found alluring. He used to stare just me . We had a 20 sec talk . I has happy. Now in the whole world , among all the convents , among all the girls $& chose AP to share himself.
I used to stand the whole time outside the class waiting for her. And to my utmost surprise that later turned to horrifying burst of anger, I watched them come out of the class. Merry, happy , so satiated with their little talks . The worst part was when they crossed me with that soothing smile all i gave was shit sugarcoated in sweet gestures. I didn’t have a thing with $&. AP had recovered from a heartache from her previous relationship. I should feel happy that she finally found solace in someone worth. Someone even I could like. Call this human nature , not jelousy, but I couldn’t see that guy taken. Any guy from that hundreds not him. And any girl but AP. That was really a thing. I thought to let it go and I focussed on my ex. Well I saw it a priority at that moment to make karma work. To make him go through that excrutiating , heart wrenching pain and agony one feels when you leave unsaid, unexplained .I didn’t want him . I wanted the fair play. I wanted to stop all the bullying and name calling . Carve on his chest with a nail and let the whole world know, I was all good and clean and I loved this guy. This wasn’t a mistake. But how could I think about this , when the good guy who used to ogle at me all the time is having his shakesperean romance with my best friend. I think I cursed the ambience. The roman statuets , lush green field hovered with tall trees. The soothing breeze could make anyone fall in love .
I started spending more time with AP. In the pursuit she leaves $& alone and he forgets about all that was happening. But this was more torchorous than seeing them together gliding romantically around the garden area. All the time she kept chattering about him and I pasted that smile on my face. It was among these discussions that once I had a fight with my ex. I ran to the class to get AP. And there she was alone in the class with $&. I slid all other thoughts. In an overexcited psyched tone I fummbeled about the whole incident. “Stop talking so loud above my head”. Well the expression and tone was correct as I talked like a complete maniac but the voice was masculine. And to utter amzement , to pin my heart more it was $&. “I have heard a lot, you talk so much , go outside.” Well that was a blow straight on my chest as it pounded that exact moment. A pretty girl weeping and telling a sad story expects some tissue and words of comfort. My hypothalamous burst as I felt cold and hot at the same moment. This wasnt expected.Period!