Do you know the feel? The sudden thud of pain in your abdomen. The feel when your gut is pinched and twirled like a maiden’s skirt. The feel when your intestines ( both small and large) are twisted and knotted up and pulled out frantically ; at unequal intervals. The feel of your abdomen burning with the dilute concentration of the digestive juices. Its complicated to decide at this ferocious moment what feels the most ; either the fact that your body gnaws you from the inside;or the truth that you WANT to feel the pain , helplessly.
No ! It’s no air that you need every moment of your life to survive. It is nothing that has been forced upon you . It is that something which you choose, over all other things. One time it’s all the beauty that’s around you ; the soft breeze , the butterfly, the blooming red roses , the kisses, the touch , the heartbeats. And just moments later it is that heart wrenching ,gut pulling pain. But adamant to all this we stay together. Things fall apart sometimes but what pulls us up is not how long we loved, it’s how deeply we loved.
You come home from school. Everyday the bus drops you at your stop. You walk the same lane everyday. Meet the same dog that wags it’s tail when you cross the house with the yellow door. Everyday , you climb two steps and step up the hutstar. Everyday you freshen up and your mum prepares you a meal.you talk and enjoy while your mum gently caress your hair. You love it when she does that ! Everyday!
Now imagine some situations –
The bus doesn’t drop you at your stop as it used to do everyday. No problem! You take another route. Get yourself acquainted with the new course. You might miss the dog and assume somewhere among the cerebra of thoughts how it would be wagging it’s tail, waiting for you to cross the house with the yellow door ; like you used to do everyday. The thought soon sublimes into the cerebra. Now imagine you hopped the two steps like every other day and enter into your abode. Unlike like every other day it’s desolate. The kitchen has all your food cooked. There’s your most comfy dress kept on your bed. But there’s no mum. There is no caressing like EVERYDAY!
You worry ! For moment you worry! It’s not the same as the lane you didn’t cross today or the dog you didn’t meet. It’s someone who is attached to your skin ,genuinely to your soul. You neither look for an alternative nor the thought disappears after a moment . It lingers. No one imposed it on you. This feeling, ;you didn’t ask for . It became a habit and then your need ; like your hearts tangled together , and if one drifts apart it pulls the other too, causing that ripping pain.
Yes ,that’s love .
And if you never felt this ; you either didn’t love or weren’t loved ! EVER!
They say you fall in love .
Actually you truly do fall in love . It’s like you are walking with your best of clothes on , your crazily sexy shoes ,singing your favourite song ; you miss a step and fall! Fall into a pit you know not how deep and the longer you stay the deeper you go , the harder for you to return to that road you were walking moments ago.
But you decide to stay in that pit. You start loving how the WORLD looks from that pit. It’s lovelier than what it was when you were walking . ALONE.
You didn’t choose to fall , but you chose to stay!
Trust me , in my own words I say , no trust, no love, no respect ,no lust and nor the latest collection of the Victoria’s secret’s collection (all of it) can help you choose to stay .
Its just your unyielding strength to not to let go. The stubbornness to hold on ;let’s you stay.
It’s nice to sit in the pit holding hands , unless you see what’s in the pit .
Having told you to stay in d pit with a choice . CHOOSE WHERE YOU SIT.
But if you still keep choices ! You ain’t in love babe !!!! 💝